


The Perfect Boyfriend

by Bideroo



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Flirting, M/M, Mild Language, Mis-delivered Package
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18625318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bideroo/pseuds/Bideroo
Summary: Well, that was not at ALL what Makoto was expecting when he tore open the box...Embarrassed Makoto tries to figure out how to return an already opened package to its rightful owner.





	The Perfect Boyfriend

"DEAR GOD."

Aghast, Makoto peered through slotted fingers as he tipped his head back over the cardboard edge. His worst fears were justified, as within the shiny, bubbly packaging nestled the largest dildo he'd ever seen. Features pulling into a cringe, he sorted through his last few nights in a panic, desperately attempting recall of ever purchasing, not to mention WANTING, such a thing. Unable to retrieve even the fuzziest confirmation, his breaths slowed.

A slow, dawning horror began to settle in his gut as his next best guess bubbled sickly up. Teeth clenching, he acknowledged to himself that this might be the only time in his life he had ever HOPED this was yet another one of Nagisa's pranks. His eyes squeezed shut as he tilted the flap, rendering it readable. Once he had the courage to open his eyes, that is.

The universe delivered a smart, jocular slap to his face as he pried one eye open, taking in the destination address. With a strangled cry, Makoto flopped onto his back, fingers tangling in his hair as he shook his head. The name was illegible, but… 3023. 3023? It was meant to be delivered to 3023. And some hapless, overworked delivery person had dropped it carelessly outside Makoto's apartment instead. Even as these thoughts rolled through his mind, Makoto knew he was making excuses to himself. Not only had he opened someone else's mail, but instead of unearthing a new pair of swim goggles (which he HAD actually ordered) or a package of cat toys, he had found… Well, there was no need to elaborate.

Quickly righting himself, he took a better look at the torn packaging. The receipt was slashed (why put that on the outside of the box?? Makoto internally raged), the bubble wrap ripped, and even the packing tape seemed to be taunting him, half the address sticker stuck to it, flapping serenely as Makoto exhaled.

Obviously, there would be no way to 'repackage' without it being clear it had already been opened. He briefly considered throwing it away, rather than subjecting the person to whom it was originally addressed to the humiliation of knowing someone, somewhere, KNEW, and had dropped it at their front door anyways. Guiltily thumbing at the receipt, Makoto's eyes flew wide, and promptly discarded that plan. He couldn't remember the last time he'd spent $115 on ANYTHING, much less a… well, an anything.

Swallowing audibly, his eyes darted around his apartment, seeking inspiration. Surely there was a way to make this right? Or if not right, at least not horribly embarrassing for all parties involved?

15 minutes and zero ideas later, the elevator disgorged him onto the 3rd floor, his trainers squeaking stridently (had his shoes ALWAYS BEEN THIS LOUD? DEAR GOD WHY) on the polished cement walk as he furtively walked/ran to the appropriate door. 3023… 3023… THERE! His sigh was large enough to blow his hair from his eyes as he deposited the carefully retaped package on the welcome mat. He'd spent the entire ride from the 8th to the 3rd floor trying to convince himself to ring the bell, but his mortification had eventually defeated him, and, package delivered, he turned to skitter away, asking for god's forgiveness.

Emitting a sharp yelp, Makoto was startled upright as he halted his movement, narrowly avoiding a collision with a pair of dress slacks and black wingtip shoes.

"Can I help you?" a low, pleasant voice rumbled, and Makoto was nearly struck dumb, spending a breath's worth of time taking in the mountain of a man before him. Taller than Makoto, shoulders and chest wider than anyone's had a right to be, his face was polite and curious, and it was more than Makoto could stand.

A sharp, nervous titter forced its way from Makoto's chest. "If you'll excuse me," he managed to squeak out, throwing himself against the wall to worm his way past the beast and make his escape.

"Wait… Do I know you? What is this?" the man called after him, and Makoto only half-jokingly considered tossing himself over the railing to escape this never-ending escalation of humiliation.

"Haha um, I believe that's yours! So if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my leave!" Makoto stammered out as he speed-walked away, suddenly overcome with hysterical giggles and wanting nothing more than to melt into the floor.

"What? Wait… Makoto? Is that you?"

Laughter and movement grinding to a halt, Makoto's eyes widened. Swiveling slowly on one heel, Makoto turned just enough to look over his shoulder. "I'm sorry?"

"Tachibana Makoto?"

Makoto turned himself back around to face the giant and hesitantly stepped closer. "Have we met?"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S REALLY YOU!! Oh my god, it's been like, 20 years! Wow, how have you been!?" The man was approaching swiftly, and Makoto hoped the faint smile on his face was appropriate, because his mind had, by this point, completely given up. "Wow man, you look great! What have you been up to? Oh shit, you… It's Sousuke, Yamazaki Sousuke!"

As recognition finally set in, a bright, genuine grin broke out on Makoto's face. Body unfreezing, he happily strode towards his old high school friend. "NO WAY! Oh my god, Sousuke, how have you been?" The two exchanged excited pleasantries, briefly getting caught up on why each was in Kyoto.

"Wow, shit, I can't believe I ran into you! Do you have some time? Come on in, let me grab you a beer and we can get caught up!" Sousuke exclaimed, Makoto agreeing eagerly, thrilled to see his (still stunningly gorgeous) friend after so much time.

Making their way back to Sousuke's apartment, Sousuke didn't notice Makoto's footsteps halt, and lithely swept the package off the ground with one hand as he unlocked his door. "So, what? Did they deliver my mail to you or something?" he chuckled lightly, turning to make room for Makoto to step in. "Wait… Haha, what the hell are you doing? Your face looks like… Like you're watching a dog tear a rabbit apart or something. Are you feeling alright?"

"I ACCIDENTALLY OPENED IT! I THOUGHT IT WAS MINE BECAUSE I ORDERED A BUNCH OF SHIT LAST WEEK AND I DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE ADDRESS AND I'M REALLY SORRY!" Makoto rasped, his voice too loud, and now, all joking aside, genuinely considered throwing himself over the railing, wondering if he might get out of it with a couple broken legs.

Sousuke tilted his head, obviously confused, and waved a hand in the air as the door swung back shut. "Shit happens all the time, don't beat yourself up. If they'd just bring them to the right address in the first place, we wouldn't have to deal with this sort of… Oh. OH."

The 0.1% chance Makoto was grasping with the last of his strength- HE HAS A ROOMMATE AND THAT ISN'T HIS AND I DO NOT KNOW THIS INCREDIBLY PERSONAL PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT AN OLD FRIEND- dissolved before his very eyes as Sousuke's mouth fell open and he blushed from his collarbone to his hairline.

"Well I'm sure that's… I'm sure your girlfriend will love it! You know I think I forgot my… laundry! So. I'll just." Makoto registered distantly that he wasn't really in control of the shit pouring out of his mouth any longer, so he commanded his stubborn legs to turn back towards the elevator. And they- quite stubbornly- refused.

Realizing he was stuck (flight or fight my ass, why doesn't anyone ever talk about FREEZE?), Makoto found he was unable to look anywhere but the tops of his sneakers. He could feel his face contorting into a horrible grimace, and as the silence stretched out, he began to pray for a meteor strike or a stray bullet or literally anything that could put them both out of their current misery.

Makoto's prayers were answered not by a life-ending catastrophe, but by a tiny giggle from the mortified Sousuke. Snapping his eyes to Sousuke's face, they both gaped at each other, wide-eyed, then uncontrollable guffaws began to echo down the walkway as they proceeded to lose their shit, all manner of undignified crying, snorting and wheezing noises prodding the other into further laughter until they were both gasping for breath.

"You know…" Makoto chuckled between breaths, "I bet he makes a good boyfriend… Never have to worry about him eating the last miso ramen cup noodle…"

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Sousuke tittered breathlessly, propping himself up against the doorjamb. 

"I had to kick the last guy out because he kept stealing my boxers," Makoto sobbed, and Sousuke launched into another round of hysterical chortling, not even sure anymore why he was laughing, but feeling surprisingly warm and happy considering the (incredibly awkward) circumstances.

Yanking his hand from the door to cover his eyes, Sousuke finally drew in a shuddering breath. "Awesome! So! Now that you've met my new live-in lover, would you like to come in for that beer, or would you rather forget I exist entirely?"

"Oh my god, Sousuke… Hahahahaa… No, I am DEFINITELY coming in for that beer. I want to know ALL ABOUT HIM!"

Eyebrow cocking, Sousuke let loose a low, rumbly snicker. "Did you just proposition me?"

"Ooooh… You know, that wasn't at all what I meant, but, now that you say it that way… I mean, who are we kidding? I uh… Yes? I did?" Despite his blushing cheeks, Makoto's eyes were clear and steady as he met Sousuke's gaze.

"Excellent." Sousuke palmed the door open, lips in a wide smile, providing room enough for Makoto to step in before he pressed up behind him, sliding a hand to his waist. As they moved inside, Sousuke dropped his lips to Makoto's neck. "I wouldn't mind if you stole my boxers," he mumbled, and Makoto's happy laughter rang out across the walkway before being cut off by the abrupt closing and locking of the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, FreeFriends! I saw a prompt online about a misdelivered package, and thought it would be great fun to play a bit with our easily embarrassed Mako-chan. <3
> 
> Unbetaed, so my apologies for mistakes!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


End file.
